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Betty's blog on her experience with VivaLaChi Healing Services

Hisses and Purrs

For six weeks I have been receiving treatments from Silvia, a neuroscientist/Qigong healer whose unusual gift I can only describe as supernatural. Silvia was an academician and a researcher for pharmaceutical companies before devoting herself full-time to healing others. Meeting her once a week via Skype, I bid farewell to my nagging neck pain and many other chronic issues no other doctor of any modality had been able to cure. ----- Betty
Here is Betty's personal journal about her healing via VivaLaChi's Healing Sevices (Betty is not contracted by VivaLaChi to write this blog).

Free to Choose

October 31, 2010

By Betty Ng
I don’t want to do it.

I don’t want to deal with that.

I am reluctant to get involved.

Why me?

Etcetera, etcetera.

I feel uneasy, pushed, pressured, entrapped, bounded, manipulated.

I am starting to feel upset, frustrated, resentful, disgruntled…

Etcetera, etcetera.

As the youngest child in the family, I did not have many choices. I simply had to do what I was told, including what my siblings had refused, not matter how seemingly unreasonable or unjust that might seem to me. The perfectly obedient, unquestioning child thus accumulated massive resentment in her Gut, a fertile ground for Qi blockages. The lavish praise from the outside world for my impeccable behavior was not quite sufficient to sweeten, break down, and digest the bitterness that I had stomached.

But I am grateful that I have grown up and am free to choose. I can question authorities and steer my own course. I am a free agent. There remains a rigid, default imprint in me to acquiesce and go along with what I am supposed to do, and not follow what my Gut wants. As a result far too often the feelings of pressure and reluctance dominate me. But recognizing and consciously reminding myself that I have choices is a quantum step to break away from my deeply ingrained behavioral and emotional habits.

Sometimes, the choices I face are not all palatable. If I am unhappy at work, I can stay or quit. Neither seems desirable – staying means remaining glued to a source of unhappiness, and quitting means losing income, a source of worry. If I stay, I need to remind myself: I choose to stay for now because this is the better option, not because I am forced to. If I leave, I also need to remind myself: this is my choice, because even if it is not perfect, it is the more desirable of the two alternatives.

Of course, there is also another possibility: let the Mind create more ideas. How can I resolve the undesirable situation at work? Where else can I work? What other career paths can I pursue? How do I go about exploring that?

The HOWs are not always easy to answer. They may take time and effort. But if they can open up more exciting possibilities, the effort is worth it.

Creating choices is definitely a choice.

Posted by Betty

To visit Betty's blog site, please go to Hisses and Purrs.

Yes They Can

October 17, 2010

By Betty Ng
Change.

Yes, we can. Yes, we do.

We change, and so do our needs. They constantly evolve and are part of our existence. Our needs can be material, physical, intellectual/mental, emotional, and spiritual. All of them are equally legitimate and important in the sense that they represent the driving forces of our lives. It is easy to claim the moral high ground by dismissing material needs in favor of answering spiritual needs. But a need is a need is a need. Left unanswered, it creates a void, a sense of inadequacy, a negative emotion, creating Qi blockages. Perhaps it is better to keep asking why we have a particular need, to ascertain it and differentiate it from a desire. Once we identify a need, we can ask WHY we have that need.

From a very young age I have felt the need to write, to put words together on paper.

“Why do you need to write? What does it do for you?” Silvia asked.

I have always taken for granted this urge to write, and I have been writing for years without thinking much about it. For me it was akin to a natural preference for raspberry over pineapple, or hot cider over orange juice. But Silvia’s question set off a series of thoughts. What happened when I wrote? How did the process or the act make me feel? Did I value the experience more or the end product?

“I need to write because I need to express myself, to articulate and ascertain my feelings, to get heard, to connect with others, and to get appreciated.” The words spilled out from my Gut, albeit not without some pause.

It dawned on me that writing has been my method of processing emotions, through pinpointing and expressing them tangibly in words. Searching for the right words was gratifying because it allowed me to understand and connect to how I feel. Every one has her own way of processing emotions – talking, singing, moving, painting, walking and thinking… We gravitate towards the method that is most effective for us. As the youngest child in my family, I grew up not getting my voice heard – it was always drowned by other bigger voices. So I resorted to the written words, which earned me appreciation and attention in school and subsequently from my parents.

In other words, my need to write was not a simple intellectual need but rather an amalgamation of emotional needs.

“HOW can you address these underlying yearnings, besides the need for processing your emotions?” asked Silvia. To receive respect and appreciation, the easiest way would be to start by respecting and appreciating others. What goes around comes around. There is nothing wrong with feeling a need to write. But understanding what are truly behind our needs can help us better answer them and live a more fulfilling life. With my need for appreciation and respect identified and answered via other means, I began to feel less pressure about becoming “successful” in writing, about becoming a best-selling author, or about getting appreciated by the mass. I could enjoy writing more for what it was – an act to connect with myself, a challenge to create meanings on a blank canvas. My need to write remains, but it has changed – for the better.
Posted by Betty

To visit Betty's blog site, please go to Hisses and Purrs.

What Do You Need?

October 9, 2010

By Betty Ng

Even though I thought I was generally intuitive, ready with Gut reactions and answers to Silvia’s questions, sometimes it took me numerous attempts to hit on the right issues that caused my energy blockages. In one instance, I was completely clueless.

“What do you need?” asked Silvia.

“I would like…” I began dishing out a laundry list. The kind of list that a child would ask when praying to god or to Santa Claus.

“Are those what you WANT, or are those what you NEED?”

“…”

“It doesn’t have to be complicated. One client, for example, needed a fulfilling romantic relationship.” Silvia explained.

I tried again. And again. But nothing crystalized. My answers continued to circle around what I desired, rather than what my life required at that moment. My desires and my needs were so enmeshed I couldn’t tell them apart. For the very first time during my healing sessions I felt utterly lost.

In the ensuing days that question became my homework. I desired lots of things: freedom, financial security, health, fulfilling career, a nice home, a new feline companion, respect, new friends… But I could do well without many of them. They would be nice to have but not essential. One by one I reviewed each of the items. Why did I want it? What did it mean to me? Could I do without it? The questions gradually led me to reflect on the decisions I had made in life, the directions I had pursued. Why did I make those decisions? Clearly they had to be the best options under the circumstances, even if I wasn’t completely satisfied with my choices. What made me stick by or regret those decisions? What did they answer or left unaddressed?

Slowly, a pattern emerged and it became clear why I had lived the way I had. The “wants” and the “needs” became untangled. One of my first reactions was that I felt better about myself and some of the seemingly “unwise” or “regrettable” decisions I had made before. I might not have been consciously aware of my needs but I had always incorporated them without thinking. I did the best I could under most cases.

I patted myself on the shoulder. I wasn’t giving myself enough credit in the past, I needed, among other things, to be kinder to myself. And when I did so I would also be kinder to others.

As the noises of desires died off and my needs quietly emerged, the seeds of my Qi blockages became apparent. Why did I have these needs? Why were they not addressed? Neglected, these requirements became a moss that spread and took over every facet of my life, causing me to slip and fall and pay attention.

It was a moment of epiphany.

When you become aware of your needs, you are treading on the path to health.

Posted by Betty
To visit Betty's blog site, please go to Hisses and Purrs.

The Magic of Everyday Things

October 3, 2010

By Betty Ng
Paper towels, bubble wraps, adhesive putty, and rubber balls: these common, everyday objects can work better than prescription drugs.
It remains a mystery to me how Silvia discovered the intriguing effectiveness of using these items. Perhaps she experimented and discovered it, or perhaps she intuited it – Qigong practitioners tend to develop very strong intuition, as I could tell from Craig, Silvia, and another friend who has practiced daily. Regardless of how the properties of these common things became known, the important point is that they are wonderful for helping one connect to and release emotions.
_____________________________
“What comes to mind?” asked Silvia.
“…” I usually had an image or some ideas, but occasionally no matter how I tried my Mind stayed blank.
“Try splitting some putty, as if you are tearing apart the barrier between your Mind and your Gut.”
I started. Some dark shape slowly surfaced. It gradually became an image… In the process I also found that 3M putty worked the best, being more gentle on the fingers.
______________________________
SOS, Silvia. Some shocking news was hard to digest. I texted her one night.
Get a roll of kitchen paper towel and squeeze out your shock / anger / frustration. Think of the emotion when you do that.
Bounty and some brands are more expensive than others, but when you are squeezing hard, you will appreciate getting what you have paid for.
______________________________
Stress balls are really good for what they are supposed to do – help you release your stress. But you need to wash them often, because the negative emotions you let out do linger and saturate these squishy tools.
______________________________
My lower back was hurting.
“It reflects a sense of injustice and a lack of support,” said Silvia. “Squeeze and pop some bubble wraps.”
It was harder than I had thought, but it worked. The pain subsided.
“Try putting some on the floor. Step on and pop them.”
It not only worked. It was also great fun – I feel like a child again!
_____________________________
We can take charge in curing ourselves instead of only relying on drugs and treatments.

When we focus and have the right intention, we can imbue everyday objects with magic.

Posted by Betty
To visit Betty's blog site, please go to Hisses and Purrs.

The Choice is Yours

September 26, 2010

By Betty Ng

The process of Qigong healing can be both easy and difficult. It can also be both fun and painful. For some, the process is short and effective, but for others it can be long and fruitless.

It all depends on how you choose.

The healing sessions I went through had two main elements: the first involved direct Qi application, during which my healers applied their energies to my body. The other element involved my actively connecting to, acknowledging, understanding and resolving the negative emotions lodged in my flesh and organs. It was easy to play Passive Betty, dozing off while receiving and feeling the immediate and notable physical impact of Craig's and Silvia's powerful Qi. But the deeper, more profound healing needed to come from inside me, through my WILLINGNESS and ABILITY to follow Silvia's guidance to unlock the emotions jamming my Qi circuits. I have since learned that for some people this inner connection can be difficult, painful, and even fruitless.

The pains plaguing different parts of my body dropped noticeably after I received Qi from Craig and Silvia. During the first two weeks I was so euphoric I thought I would be completely healed before my sixth and last session. But while the pains had dissipated the imprints remained, so that sometimes the discomfort flared up again (but with less intensity) after a week. A few of the emotional blockages in food that Silvia had removed also crept back occasionally when I wasn't watchful - sometimes after a few weeks, sometimes after a few months. I soon realized that this healing method wasn't about dumping my problems on my healers, the way one would leave a car with a mechanic, or the way a patient lies on the operating table at the mercy of the surgeon. My healers were certainly very powerful. But they were simply there to assist me, to guide me in healing myself and to stay well. They could flip and correct the directional flow of my life force, and they could remove the symptoms I had generated internally, but to root out the pains I must actively participate with an Open Mind.

During the healing sessions, when I wasn't playing Passive Betty, I followed Silvia's guidance to connect to the negative emotions lodged inside my Heart and my Gut. If Silvia saw disappointment lodged in my Gut, or a sense of injustice in my lower back, or a sense of entrapment in head, she would inquire what came to my Mind. Being quite visual in my orientation I usually saw certain images when prompted by her questions, which led to recollections of certain events and people. The questions then became WHY I felt those emotions. One WHY would lead to another, and when I could no longer asked WHY, I finally asked HOW I could address the sentiments or the underlying causes of the negativity.

Often the images that came to my Mind surprised and amused me, because those associations I had made between emotions, people, and events seemed completely random and illogical - an attestation to the complexity of human cognitions. But more importantly, once those associations surfaced and led to resolutions at the deep end, the physical pains in the body also vanished for good. One image after another, I simply followed my Gut and my Heart, allowed my Mind to connect to them, and pursued the clues from these internal pictures. Channel Betty turned out to be far more fascinating and engaging than the History or Discovery Channel.

My healing remains ongoing. I am still asking my self WHYs and HOWs - some issues simply take longer to discover and resolve. And the very nature of my existence means that new negative emotions can arise and I need to process them properly by asking the same questions. But I have acquired the tools, and I could continue and take charge of the process.

Being WILLING and ABLE to connect with the Heart and the Gut is therefore a key to the garden of wellness. It is also the reason why Qigong healing can be both easy and difficult, fun and painful, and effective or fruitless. Acknowledging suppressed feelings in the Heart and the Gut could be difficult, because the emotions could be unpleasant, embarrassing, or painful. It takes courage. Sometimes, our resistance is so strong we may have erected barriers of denial that are impossible to crack. We are creatures of habit, and it is often easier to hide behind our familiar barriers than to confront what we have tried to avoid in the first place. Even if the barriers can be dismantled, it takes time. Having an Open Mind is perhaps a condition for making the process a success.

I could have chosen to rely solely on Craig and Silvia's Qi and repeatedly return to ask for more of the palliative. That would be no different from relying on prescription drugs. Doing my part required answering some questions - the "homework" between my sessions - as well as staying aware of my Mind, my Heart and my Gut. This called for honesty to myself, it required effort and commitment, as well as patience.

But I made my choice early on to open up and connect.

I am happy with it.
Posted by Betty
To visit Betty's blog site, please go to Hisses and Purrs.


Say It With Gut

August 27, 2010


When I conceived this blog I asked myself repeatedly if I was ready for the questions and reactions. My eagerness dueled with anxiety and ambivalence. Writing about my healing would amount to climbing on a pedestal to announce my weakness, and the process could delve into the sensitive realm of personal and medical privacy. The exposition could jeopardize my professional prospect, and it would challenge people to accept Qigong healing - something unorthodox, something that even those from the East including myself have only brushed with in martial arts novels, inviting questions about my sanity, credibility and judgment.

Yet the urge to spread the word was like a geyser, too strong to suppress. As I dramatically rebounded from chronic ailments and became aware of what forms they could take and the behavioral signs they posed I observed that practically everyone around me was a walking patient, shouldering health burdens of varying nature. Some were painfully aware of the issues but felt trapped in a maze, others were so deep in their denial they lived in fragile illusions of happiness. Many were not yet physically aware of the issues brewing, and those who were have acquiesced that their back pains, migraines, allergies, heartburns, weight problems, and hypertension were part of living and aging.

We all carry suppressed emotions that could germinate into physical ailments, no one is immune. The longer we live the more emotional and physiological "knots" we accumulate that gradually ferment into physical pain. I was incapable of sending others any Qi to relieve their physical pain the way Silvia and Craig have done for me, but at least I could let people be aware of such an option. And I could share some of the tools and insights I have learned from my own treatment for prevention and to raise awareness.

My treatment entailed Qi assessment followed by physical Qi manipulation by Craig and Silvia. It also involved customized diets. Food testing revealed my physiological issues, and it was the gateway to unearth suppressed emotions. Recognizing and identifying these feelings allowed me to resolve them and let go. The techniques I learned during the process became the tools for prevention, and together with daily Qigong practice I can finish the last mile of healing and strengthen my body.

Ever since I began discussing my recovery many people have opened up about their own physical conditions. A few friends who have not felt any physical symptoms have nonetheless decided to seek similar treatments. Perhaps they were curious about my unusual diet, perhaps they were intrigued by Silvia's unique gift of seeing Qi. I have so far disclosed little about what followed after my treatment 's initial focus on diet, but these friends are now discovering for themselves one after another the depth and breadth of Qigong healing, often through astonishing insights they glimpse about themselves.

I am sure many skeptics will remain skeptics, and perhaps in the eyes of some people, especially those in the west who do not share my eastern roots, I am just another New Age esotericist, an aspiring "Eat, Pray, Love" protagonist, self-absorbed and indulgent, escaping from midlife crisis by traveling to far corners of the earth looking for exotic spiritual sage till I chanced upon the answer to my pains. I wish my life were that idyllic and carefree. It is impossible for others to empathize what I have physically suffered for what had felt like an eternity, I can only write with the hope that this blog will ripple my knowledge so others can avoid the confusion and desperation I had endured. What doesn't kill you make you stronger, and in my case it has impelled me to voice what chimes with my Mind, my Heart, and my Gut.

Two days after I dined with Lucy, my Tai Chi classmate, I had green tea ice cream again and got a horrible reaction. My heart was thumping at 3 a.m., keeping me awake even though my brain and the rest of my body were exhausted. I knew intuitively that green tea ice cream was the culprit, because that was the image that came to mind, and my next thought was Lucy. When I was dining with her she had tried to sway me from green tea ice cream to try a red bean dessert that she claimed wasn't available elsewhere in NYC. Eager to impress me with her restaurant choice, she was skeptical and cross-examined me when I revealed having already tried the red bean dessert in two other eateries in midtown. She was one tough lady to persuade in many ways.

Feeling drained and fogged from sleep deprivation due to my horrible reaction, I quickly checked my Qi flow with Silvia while holding a drop of milk in my hand. It was indeed blocking the flow of my life force ¡§C dairy seemed to be my Achilles heels.

"What comes to mind?" asked Silvia.

"LUCY."

"And what do you feel?"

"Frustration!"

"That's it. Now your Qi is flowing again. You need to stay aware of your emotions and name them."

Lucy, oh dear Lucy. I was stuck, naming you instead of my emotions.

A Polish Holocaust survivor, Lucy moved to New York in 1949 when she was nine. She chose not to remember anything before that year and has been in good health all her life. She is turning 70 in November and only has minor knee problems and slightly above average cholesterol. I was puzzled, wondering how someone with so many consciously suppressed memories could stay in such good physical health.

The answer came after I finished my green tea ice cream, over successive cups of green tea, when she talked about her family.

(Ah, I should check for possible associated emotions with green tea...­)

'My 29 year-old daughter began abusing alcohol and substances when she was thirteen, and she has now chosen to live in a buddhist monastery in Northern California to avoid talking to people."

To avoid talking to people?

"She doesn't want to talk to me or others, especially about her feelings. She refuses conversations or questions about her emotions. If I asked her how she was feeling she would stammer and say she couldn't talk about such things."

What intrigued me more than the daughter's choice was Lucy's cool and collected demeanor as she described her daughter and other unfortunate chapters in her family history. She didn't seem involved, as if she was telling another family's story. While her daughter spent her prime, youthful years drudging through repeated cycles of substance abuse, rehab, therapy and now escapism, the single mother with a steely will to survive has weathered successive life crisis with detached indifference, control, and mild intrigue about the sufferings of those close to her. The whole week before our dinner, Lucy has been dealing with her 89 year-old mother's medical emergencies.

"My mother is an unpleasant person," she said nonchalantly, repeating that description a few times before the end of our rendezvous.

I could not help but intuit a connection between Lucy's emotional suppression and her daughter's troubles. Lucy has managed to live a long and "healthy" life, perhaps because her physical health has come at the expense of her daughter's development and well-being.

"Your daughter sounds like a prime candidate for Qigong healing." I said so even after Lucy has stubbornly rejected it during the evening. "The treatment is more than physical Qi manipulation. It goes to the root of emotional blockages, connecting a person to her feelings and releasing negativity."

"Can I have Silvia's information again?" Her eyes glimmered with a hint of hope.

Lucy the Survivor could reject my logic, but Lucy the Mother could not easily abandon the hope to save her beloved child.

My Dinner with Lucy

August 19, 2010


Appetizer

Me: My Qigong healers cured me.

Lucy: I don't believe in that sort of things.

Me: I know it is hard for most people in the west to grasp. But I have been sick for seven years, I have tried the top doctors and specialists around the world. Qigong healing was the only method that made a true difference for me.

Lucy: Did you get yourself thoroughly tested, did you have blood tests and all that?

Me: Yes, of course. Those conventional tests were incapable of showing anything.

Lucy: So maybe you were not sick.

Me: I wish that were true, and I wish that were also true for many others who are chronically ill and who live in frustration, confusion, and misery.

Lucy: It can all be in your heads.

Me: Have you been seriously ill?

Lucy: No, never. I will turn 70 in November and only started taking Lipitor to lower my cholesterol recently. Otherwise I am fine.

Me: Good for you. I hope you stay that way because you have no idea what it is like to be chronically ill.

Main Course

Lucy: I do not believe in Qigong healing and that sort of things because they are not scientifically proven. And if they aren't scientifically proven, they don't exist.

Me: If we turn back the clock to the fifth century and you tell someone that the earth is not flat, nobody will believe in you. But does that mean it is untrue?

Lucy: No, the science at that time could not prove the shape of the earth yet. People believed what the science at that time was capable of showing.

Me: So how can we flatly, completely reject the possibility ofQigong healing? Isn't it possible that 21st century science hasn't advanced adequately to affirm Qigong's efficacy? Or, perhaps the science we have now is already capable of doing so, and perhaps has even done so, but the findings haven't reached the mass?

Lucy: The cases of the earth and Qi are different because something such as Qi simply cannot be proven. It is not tangible or observable.

Me: Are microbes and viruses directly observable?

Lucy: Yes, with certain instruments.

Me: But not during the fifth century. Do you not think science has its limitations in the past and in the present?

Lucy: I dont think Qigong healing can be proven. The mind is very powerful and often people can get better simply because of the placebo effect.

Me: What if I tell you that non-believers in Qigong healing had experienced measurable, physiological improvements despite their lack of conviction?

Lucy: It is not possible. They probably thought or said they didn't believe in Qigong when they actually did.

Dessert

Me: I met this little girl Katy with Down Syndrome whose condition has noticeably improved after she began Qigonghealing treatments. She still looked different from the average child of her age, but certainly much better than other Down Syndrome sufferers I have come across.

Lucy: Perhaps she doesn't really have Down Syndrome to begin with.

Me: Katy was diagnosed with Down Syndrome by other doctors before she began receiving Qigong healing.

Lucy: Perhaps those doctors misdiagnosed her. I don't believe in Qigong healing.

Positive Eating

August 13, 2010


Dear Dinner,

Thank you for being my meal tonight. You came from places near and far, from farms and from oceans. Some of you have been processed, some haven't. You have diverse physical and chemical properties, and you represent different life forms. Just because I am consuming you doesn't mean I am superior or more intelligent, it simply means I am very fortunate.

Some of you are more delectable than the others, some of you are more fragrant or have better textures, and some of you look better than the rest. But here you are, right in front of me, I welcome you equally into my body.

When you were alive, you might have endured a bit of stress or unpleasantness. I am sorry about that. And together you are carrying a kaleidoscope of emotions from many who took part in ferrying you across city, states, and country to land you in this town and finally in my kitchen and in this bowl. Heartaches, cheeriness, angst, contentment, grumpiness, hope¢®­ They probably exceed more than I can imagine. But I BELIEVE my body will distill the goodness in you for nourishment, bypassing all that is unneeded.

Someone once told me this story about Gautama Buddha: he was in his eighties and already well known and respected. But that did not change his humble lifestyle of living off from donated leftovers. One day a poor person offered him some rotten food, yet the Buddha finished it all without hesitation.

"Teacher, why did you eat that? It could hurt you!" asked a disciple.

"Anything that is available to me, I eat with gratitude and the conviction that it will be good for me," smiled the Buddha.

Indeed, when we eat with gratitude, openness, and belief we set our bodies to secrete all the right enzymes to work with our foods.

So dear Dinner, if I feel uncomfortable from consuming you even after this dialogue, I know the discomfort is physiological rather than emotionally induced, especially since Silvia and I had already cleared my emotions-based Qi blockages with all foods. In that case I will then isolate each of you to find out why. In the meantime, thank you again for being my sustenance.

With belief,

Betty


Processed foods can be good for you.

Organic foods are no better than inorganic.

These contradict the well-intentioned messages by experts who focus on the nutritional value or tangible dimension of edibles. But these statements can be true in their own right. This is because there are other dimensions to food only observable to and felt by a minority, but which exert a silent and powerful impact on all of us. Dimensions that help explain a lot of illnesses.

Prior to my first treatment session with Silvia she asked me to collect several kinds of beans. I randomly picked adzuki beans, mung beans, french lentils, and garbanzo beans. They were all organic and by the same brand, though grown in different places. During the treatment Silvia asked me to hold in each hand a few beans from the first bag.

"No, this doesn't work. Your Qi hasn't changed. Try the next one."

I discarded the beans in my hand and tried the beans in the second bag. She shook her head and I tried the third. When she rejected it again I became concerned. I was down to my last type of bean, the french lentils.

"This one works!" She proclaimed.

Beans, as it turned out, were used to draw the Qi out from my hands, to flip and correct my reverse Qi flow. My Qi was flowing inward and upward from my hands, and beans acted as an agent to pull my life force to go the other way.

But why did only the french lentils work and not the other beans?

All raw beans have the power to draw and pull energy. (Like many other discoveries over the years, Silvia stumbled upon this observation.) But humans who farm, harvest, process, and package those beans transfer and leave their energies to them. As a result, if the beans carry negative energy from handlers the beans can loose their power to pull Qi. The power is offset by external influences.

This happens regardless of the type of beans, and whether the beans are organic or inorganic. Even if I buy the same french lentils from the same brand again, the new batch may not work, because it may have been handled by different people with different energies.

Ah, the wonders and secrets of our universe.

It follows that when we eat we ingest not only the physical entity but also the embedded emotions in food and the energy from the handlers. (For embedded emotions in food, see "Food. So Much More than Just Food," June 4, 2010.) The benefits of eating any item are the aggregate of not only the tangible nutritional components and chemical chains but also the intangible elements. I started tasting the embedded emotions in food after my Qi treatments (like Silvia, I stumbled upon it), they are powerful and have a true impact on our well-being, whether we are consciously aware of them or not.

This is why processed food can be very good for us: if they are processed by happy people with good intentions, then we are consuming their positivity. (See "Eating Happiness. Literally," June 6, 2010.) The questions are therefore not just how the foods are processed by WHO are processing them.

Imagine an abusive husband returning home every evening berating his wife and insulting her. His sad and bitter wife cooks with frustration, resentment, and anger. The abusive husband and the family then sit down to consume the dinners loaded with negative emotions into their bodies...­

A root of chronic diseases.

We have always lived in a highly connected world, way before the arrival of the telephone, the internet, Google, and Facebook. The foods we consume, the things we use all connect us to many unknown names and faces and places through energy transfer that silently, unknowingly takes place every nano second. Science may eventually affirm this one day, but for now, thanks to a few gifted people such as Silvia whom I have the fortune to meet, I got a glimpse of this revolutionary insight.

We come into contact with many people daily through food and many other channels. We cannot dictate what energies other people transfer to these media, but we can work on ourselves by giving out good energies. What goes around, comes around. The abusive husband consumes all the hatred he instills in his wife, he lives the effects of his own creation.

We Are How We Eat

August 8, 2010


Fat-free! Sugar-free! Zero cholesterol and low carb! Gluten-free, wheat-free, nut-free, and dairy-free!

The list that demarcates the good from the bad grows by the day. We are encouraged by experts to eschew certain food groups while loading up on "superfoods" such as maca, goji and acai berry. Food occupies such a big part of our well-being, the verdicts on various ingredients and components can assume religious proportions, with the "bad" demonized and eternally damned while the "good" are glorified as magical cure-alls.

But why did nature give us fat, gluten, wheat, nuts, and so many other substances if they are bad for us? Why do they exist? How did we evolve to become allergic or intolerant of so many things?

We are what we eat, convention says. What we choose to consume reflect our preferences, beliefs, and values. Animals lovers shun meat, eco-conscious people choose organic over inorganic, Muslim decline pork, and Hindus shy away from beef. Our attitude shapes our behavior.

But at the subconscious level, our Minds also develop powerful emotional associations with food, which in turn enhance or block our Qi flow, the flow of our life force.

On the conscious level, many of us have our own versions of "comfort food," "homey food," "cinema food," "weekend food," "party food," "birthday food," "vacation food"...­ Those items conjure specific emotions and attachments/ detachments. Our experiences often determine how we feel about different foods. But these associations occur far more frequently, quickly, and powerfully at the subconscious level. When we unconsciously associate a negative emotion with a food, it literally blocks our Qi flow, even though at the conscious level we may feel neutral or positive about it. As a result, our bodies reject that food entirely. Not only do we fail to draw benefits from it , but we also predispose it to harm our bodies through Qi obstruction.

I learned of this mind-blowing revelation during my food test with Silvia. During my initial phase of healing she prescribed me certain eating guidelines based on my physiological needs. As the healing progressed, she began to work on my emotional associations with what I ingest into my body. Thanks to her ability to see Qi flow with her naked eyes, I discovered and discarded many food blockages to my Qi.

"This stops your Qi flow," said Silvia, when I held a shrimp in my hand. "What comes to your mind?"

"An image of something being hallowed out, a sense of being drained, exhaustion," I answered without thinking, letting my gut speak.

"That's it!" she exclaimed. "Now your Qi flow resumes."

How did my Mind create that link? Incredible. I love shrimp but it was blocking my Qi!

We moved on to milk. I had avoided dairy for the longest time, feeling that I was either intolerant or allergic to it.

"What comes to mind?" Silvia asked as I held dry milk power in my palm. My Qi wasn't flowing out from my hand.

"I see a dark, lonely and wintry night in Chicago...­ snow covered pavements in the north side of the city...­ a deserted downtown...­ I feel that I am back to my first year in college there..."

"You've got it." Qi was flowing out of my hand again.

Then it was on to sugar.

"I think of empty calories, diabetes, indulgence, irresponsibility." I spoke from my Gut without even waiting Silvia to prompt me.

"Why would those come to mind?" She took it one step further.

"That's what I have learned about sugar - it's tasty but 'bad' for you."

Ironically, such knowledge was the cause for Qi blockage not only in the case of sugar, but also in the case of many foods I had learned to avoid. When the Mind perceives a food in negative light, the body also develops aversion so that upon consuming it - even in moderation - the food will disrupt our Qi flow. French fries may be high in fat and egg yolks may contain cholesterol, but the greatest harm they can potentially do to us is HOW we perceive them. If we are neutral towards these items, our bodies may fail to draw nutritional benefits from them, but at least they will not obstruct the flow of our life force. Our negative perceptions towards foods can indeed become self-fulfilling. As with illnesses, emotional factors account for far more negative reactions towards food than physiological reasons.

We are how we eat.

Down But Gifted

August 1, 2010

I had the fortune to learn Qigong, the art of breathing, from Craig recently in San Diego. During that time I met a girl with Down syndrome whose unusual gift taught me a lesson on prejudice and intelligence.

I was the house guest of my healers Silvia and Craig, who had generously invited me to stay with them to learn Qigong. They were wonderful hosts with the most fascinating stories: Craig walked across America to raise awareness about cystic fibrosis; Silvia healed herself of a severe allergy that degenerated into asthma; the couple together helped Olympians break records with Qi healing; the U.S. Navy Seals have invited them to conduct Qi studies...­ I also saw several clients arriving and then leaving their house transformed.

But the one encounter that left a most indelible impression was little Katy, a four-year old with Down Syndrome. Katy was smaller than the average child of her age and could not yet speak. But she was noticeably more alert and aware than other Down Syndrome sufferers I have come across. Katy has been receiving weekly treatment from Silvia and Craig for six months or so. According to her parents, in the beginning Katy looked no different than the typical Down Syndrome sufferer. But when I met her she has already vastly improved.

"Down Syndrome affects the area at the back of Katy's head that processes frustration," said Silvia.

Silvia used her own Qi to help push and remove Katy's Qi blockage. She also played with Katy in such a way to help vent Katy's frustration. This combination helped Katy's Qi to flow more properly, so she could catch up in her growth with other children. Indeed, if I did not pay attention I would have thought of Katy as a two or three year old who was slow with speech rather than a girl with Down Syndrome. She showed very good focus and concentration, was very methodical in the way she played, and was delightfully poised compared to other sugar-pumped hyperactive kids I have come across.

She also displayed remarkable potential as a healer.

I sat down on the carpeted floor after Silvia and Katy began their healing and play session. When Katy noticed me, she quietly got up, walked towards me, and with her eyes steadfastly gazing into mine, placed her palm behind my neck but not touching it. It puzzled me.

"Katy has only done this to two people," said her mom, who was watching. "Her dad was the first, you are the second."

It turned out that both Katy's dad and I have similar Qi blockages in the back of our necks. Katy's dad later revealed that his daughter would often point at specific strangers in public places. Having practiced Qigong for several months, Katy's dad has become more intuitive - a common effect. He increasingly sensed that Katy was pointing at people who have Qi issues.

"When I first met this girl I immediately saw something special in her. I knew I must take her on as my client," said Silvia. "Katy will likely grow into a normal child, and she will become a healer." Indeed, the way Katy held her hand behind my neck was similar to the way Craig and Silvia did when they healed others.

We often view people with Down Syndrome as handicapped. But Katy has shown that we are all endowed with different gifts. She may not possess conventional intelligence and may not accomplish the conventional successes that many ambitious parents hope for - excelling in schools, speaking multiple languages, becoming a lawyer/ banker/ computer scientist¢®­ But Katy's gift in sensing Qi is unique and precious. So unusual and so outstanding, it takes another gifted person such as Silvia to recognize. People like me are simply incapable to appreciate it. We can only see the glass half-empty.

From that perspective, we are the ones who are handicapped.

Do You See What I See?

July 17, 2010

Removing toxins from the body is only half of the equation in my healing. The other half involves losing emotional waste and preventing new buildup, because it is the root cause of many illnesses. From Silvia's healing experience over the last twenty years, 75% of illnesses results from emotional issues. "Cancers, Alzheimer's, heart problems, digestive issues...­ You will be surprised how many of these are avoidable."

Silvia knows because she can "see" them.

This was how she diagnosed my condition that has eluded my other doctors and healers, who relied on machines, theories, pulse reading, and conventional observations.

Silvia was a neuroscientist by training. An allergy sufferer, she was unable to find a cure via conventional medicine - an irony since she had worked as a researcher for pharmaceutical companies. Following her husband Craig's footsteps, she began learning Qigong, the ancient Chinese art of breathing. (Qi means air, or breathing. Gong means cultivation/ manipulation.) Craig is a legend in his own right. Born with cystic fibrosis, a debilitating genetic disease that causes most sufferers to perish before the age of twenty, Craig decided to learn martial arts in his teens and eventually Qigong. These turned his life around, freeing him from his daily three-hour therapy, allowing him to study to become a biologist and also a martial arts teacher. Now in his late fifties, he is perhaps the oldest surviving sufferer of cystic fibrosis. Silvia followed Craig's example and took up Qigong,practicing daily.

Her allergy disappeared.

And to her surprise, she started seeing people's Qi with her naked eyes.

I have the unexpected fortune to meet many gifted people around the world who can see others' energy auras. Some can see from the aura's color the dominant force in a person (e.g. spiritual inclination, materialism, passion). Some can see a person's history, or past lives, from the auric field. Some can even see the future. Silvia can see a person's energy map and the flow of that life force. She can see where in the body the energy is moving slowly, or blocked. She can also tell what direction the energy is flowing - this was how she diagnosed my rare Qi reversal.

Over the years, Silvia discovered that people who have unresolved emotional hurt suffer from energy blockages in the chest, causing heart problems. People who feel injustice and a lack of support develop blockages in the lower back, causing back pain. People who have a lot of fear suffer from blockages in the throat/ neck, causing voice problems¢®­ It is not dissimilar to the accumulated wisdom in Chinese medicine: worries hurt the spleen (éØß¿Þ¡), grief harms the lung (Ýèß¿øË), excitement burdens the heart (ýìß¿ãý), and rage damages the liver (ÒÁß¿ÊÜ). The central tenet is that emotions affect the life force that courses through the body. The notion of life force typically exists in the literary but not the scientific realm because it is "invisible" and not scientifically proven.

But people such as Silvia have affirmed its existence and that it is visible- at least to those who are gifted and who cultivate the ability to do so.

In this beautiful and mysterious universe, anything is possible.

I was ecstatic about Silvia's heavenly prescription of lard, cream, and caffeine in my diet when she delivered the warning.

"You will lose weight initially," she said. My cheers melted into disappointment. I was dismayed and a bit concerned, because it has been difficult for me to cling to my precious 120 lbs in the last few years.

"You will eventually regain it," she assured me.

I have long been used to misperceptions and judgment about my relation to food and my self-image. Most people have assumed that because I was slim, avoided certain foods such as dairy and meat, and seldom showed much appetite, then I must be obsessed about thinness. The truth was, my compromised digestive system had been so weak that drawing energies from food and building muscles had been a challenge. Sometimes, in fact, my body broke down its own muscles and bones for fuel. But just as obesity has become epidemic in many countries, so has getting fat become the accepted norm in our times. If you age without gaining weight, others assume you must be countering nature through some forms of excruciation such as physical exertion and starvation, or both.

Just as Silvia had predicted, I began to lose weight soon after I followed her guidelines. Not just a paltry pound or two but a whopping six pounds that, for someone of my build (170cm), was substantial. When I registered 114 lbs on the scale I decided not to step on it again and let the number bother me. I did not feel weak and preferred to focus on the new glow on my face.

What I was rapidly losing was the waste and toxins that the Qi reversal had accumulated in my body (see my previous post "Have Lard and Will Eat It"). The weight loss was an important prerequisite for me to rebuild and strengthen from a clean slate. The lard and cream provided ample fuel for the body to perform this intensive detoxification. I finally felt that my energy was beginning to return, and I was immensely grateful for the porcine and bovine nourishment that nature had provided me.

I was also drinking copious amount of Warm Water. Not iced, not at room temperature, but Warm or Hot water. This was something that Silvia has stressed repeatedly. The body needs water at a certain temperature before sending it to muscles and cells to drench and remove toxins. For someone whose health is compromised, the body will not waste its fuel to heat up fluids, but simply flush it out immediately.

Even among healthy individuals, cold drinks tax the body. Yes, perhaps you are burning some calories by heating up cold fluids. But you are diverting your body's energy away from more important cleansing and regenerative processes. The "weight" that many people want to lose is actually waste and garbage, often symptoms of Qi blockages resulting from negative emotions (see 'The Mind, Heart, and Gut Symphony", June 12, 2010). Weight loss through burning calories from consuming cold drinks is akin to winning a battle but losing the war.

This is why if we are thirsty, cold drinks will quench our thirst at the sensory but not at the cellular level. Our bodies will continue to thirst for water no matter how many cold drinks we consume.

"You are drinking hot water in this weather?" People ask me when they see the steam rising from my opened stainless steel thermos, something I do not leave home without.

"Yes," I reply. "I have to loose waste."

Posted by Betty
To visit Betty's blog site, please go to Hisses and Purrs.

When I began my treatment sessions I was prescribed a very special customized diet. For two weeks or so I was to eat lots of fat: lard, butter, cream, bacon fat, and whole milk. I also needed to eat fish (but no meat) and lots of caffeine and spices (such as red chili peppers and mint). I could eat purple seaweed but not salt. I could eat dried currants, figs, and raisins but in general avoided fresh fruits. I could eat cucumber, zucchini, cabbage, okra, but not vegetables or foods that were high in antioxidants.

It was a most radical and unusual diet, one that shunned common sense and swam against the tide of accepted wisdom about health and rejuvenation. The reason? My Qi/ life force was flowing in reverse.

Such a condition is uncommon and almost impossible to diagnose, confirm, and correct, even for the best holistic healers such as acupuncturists. (And in conventional medicine such a concept doesn’t even exist.) This is because most people who are sick are experiencing energy blockages in their bodies, whereas a complete reversal of the direction of Qi flow is uncommon. From what I have understood, our Qi normally flows in a pattern that draws in energy from the planet and the universe, and after this Qi travels through our meridian points and pathways, it leaves the body through our hands and feet. When it leaves, it draws out and discards Qi toxins. The process is akin to digestion: we consume and extract nutrients from food, discarding the waste. But certain conditions such as anxiety, stress, or traumas can temporarily slow or halt this flow, allowing the body to focus on dealing with external threats. If these states happen frequently, or are severe and/or prolonged, however, the body can become confused and the Qi may start reversing course.

This means that instead of drawing in energy and discarding waste, the body is drawing in waste via the hands and feet and discarding Qi essence via the spine, or the chakras.

The body is thus poisoning itself.

In such a state, the person becomes unable to break down most carbohydrates for fuel, so it turns to protein, normally used as building blocks. Breaking down protein as fuel releases vast amount of nitrogen, adding another source of toxin. To neutralize it, the body craves oxidants instead of antioxidants. This is why kale, spinach, broccoli and other antioxidants-rich foods will do harm instead of good.

Although such a body is relying on protein for fuel, it is too weak to digest meat. (This was why I had naturally avoided meat for some time, eating only fish.) The body can tolerate fish because it needs omega 3 and 6 (which curiously are the only antioxidants it embraces). The body also welcomes animal fat, a very ready source of energy. And to move the sluggish Qi, caffeine and spices become invaluable for their stimulating properties.

The direction of my Qi flow was reversed and corrected during the first healing session, but the body required time to return to normal. Therefore initially I must cater to its unconventional needs, especially by providing abundant fuel via animal fat.

I certainly welcomed fried potatoes in bacon fat.

There was finally an upside to my ailment.
Posted by Betty
To visit Betty's blog site, please go to Hisses and Purrs.

Let Them Eat Cake

July 1, 2010

A jobless man who has depleted his savings and has a family to support comes upon his friends on the street.

“You need to get a job,” says one friend.

“You need more money,” says another.

“You need income,” says the third.

“How did I get a job, produce income, or find myself more money?” The jobless man asks.

“You go out and look,” replies one.

“If you look, you will immediately find something,” responds another.

“If you don’t have a job, or income, or any money, it’s because you haven’t been looking,” says the third.

The jobless man smiles, thanks them, and walks on, continuing his year-long search for a position that will hopefully pay his bills.

During my long and arduous journey in search of healing I have come across many earnest and well-intentioned friends who dispense what they consider sage and sound advice. It ranges from “your illness is self-inflicted,” “your ailments are in your head,” “your problems are emotionally-based,” to “it’s all about the Mind.” Even though none of these friends knows exactly my conditions, the causes, and the symptoms, even though none of them has ever experienced what I have gone through, they have been confidently offering diagnosis and what they consider solutions.

“If you think you are well, you will be well.”

“If you relax, you will recover.”

“If you have faith you will heal instantly.”

Let them eat cake.

It doesn’t exactly apply to this situation, but it is my Gut response.

True advice and true healers are both difficult to come by. Not all doctors are equal and not all healers are created the same. I have met a top gastroenterologist in NYC who has never heard of amaranth and quinoa. I have met a “healer” who can’t heal his own substance addiction. And far too often the nature of healing is based on reliance – the doctor prescribes drugs or performs surgery, while the healer channels and corrects energy. These are all essential, particularly when the patient is incapable of understanding or addressing the issue on her own. But the doctor/healer’s role is ultimately to assist a patient to jumpstart a process to restore and stay in good health.

And that requires more than simply prescribing such generic formulas as, “Watch your diet,” “Get enough sleep,” “Relax,” or “Think positive.” If a person needs the help of a doctor/healer she needs far more specific prescription and guidance to understand the root of her problems and to receive customized help. The jobless man already knows he needs a job, he already knows he needs income and money. He is looking for detailed advice on job leads, or HOW to find a job, HOW to create income, and HOW to generate wealth. Pointing out the obvious does not add value, and the assumption that the jobless man has not been searching for work is judgmental and accusatory, it only aggravates.

“From what I can see you are experiencing pain in these areas…” said my healer within the first few minutes of our meeting. No other doctor had been able to do so.

“These appear to be the issues causing your conditions, this is how you work on them before our next meeting…” she proceeded with step by step instructions, after releasing me of some of my pain.

If you find yourself asking your doctor or healer “how” but you are not receiving specific guidance, it is time to move on.
Posted by Betty
To visit Betty's blog site, please go to Hisses and Purrs.


The temperature in the apartment was an ideal 72F/23°C, the humming of the air conditioner gently masked the buzz in Manhattan, and in front of me was my Mac and my favorite cup of breakfast tea. All was ready, and I earnestly began.

But the words would not flow.

They were there, in my Gut, for sure. For over eighteen months, they had stubbornly refused to surface. And perhaps for many years before that, those words have gradually ceased to flow, like a drying well. But if my pool of words and ideas has exhausted why did I still have such an urge to write? I could feel ideas budding and blooming inside me, taking on new shapes and forms, transmogrifying and growing in depth and height and complexity. Yet instead of flowering into words and sentences they effervesced and vanished into thin air. This natural inclination to weave and knit together words and the futility in doing so was the most wrenching ordeal of any aspiring or established writer.

Disheartened by this sense of déjà vu, I strolled aimlessly in the early summer heat till I came upon an ice cream store. The sight of the rainbow array of dairy indulgence threw my thoughts back to my childhood, to those days when writing was effortless. Why was I able to do so back then? I asked myself. I recalled being always the first student in my class to finish any writing assignment and always getting the best grade. Writing was spontaneous and second nature to me. I welcomed any writing challenge from my teachers: essays, plays, interviews, stories, book reviews, poems, critique… The act of indulging my creativity was the most exhilarating experience, one that unfailingly immersed me into a state of blissful timelessness…

And then, before my impressionable adolescent mind became aware, the shadow of “reality” began to loom. The paramount importance of excelling in public exams; the profound significance of getting into a good university; the weighty choice of a career and by extension, my life path… All of that consumed my focus and drowned me in a sea of concerns. The implicit message of this mental conditioning from the all too eager adults around me was that life choices were given, analyzed, planned, and selected, not created.

And with that implicit doctrine engulfing my Mind so went my creativity, or my connection to it.

I became one of the many overeducated, credentials-laden smarties busily applying all the prized analytical skills and knowledge acquired from prestigious institutions instead of using what naturally, effortlessly, and spontaneously bloom inside me. I was basically going against nature and even though I might not be consciously aware of it, I was brewing resentment, frustration, and despair within. Silently but surely, these emotions erected a wall between my Mind and my neglected Gut.

I must knock down that blockade to access my treasure trove.

This morning I read an article “Do you have the Ox factor” in the Weekend Financial Times by my favorite columnist Susie Boyt, who wrote about speaking to students in her former high school, to encourage them to apply to Oxford. Boyt, who has mixed feelings about her days at the coveted university, wrote:

“…I wanted to say to them: ‘I might be wrong and I’m not certain all this striving is definitely good. Education, infancy, childhood, and your teenage years can’t be dismissed as the antechamber to your life – it’s the real thing, and you can’t bargain away years now in hope of future gains.’ You can’t subtract happiness from the equation.

I looked at the sea of highly strung pupils sitting on the edges of their seats as though perched on precarious cliffs. I felt ashamed that their lives were this stressful. and what’s it all for, I wondered, this great extended period of worry? Is it about inserting into your brain skills that will lead to extreme moneymaking? Is it definitely worth it?

It’s good to work hard for something you believe in, of course, but what was it we were actually believing in?”

I hope Boyt had actually voiced those thoughts to her audience. If she did not have the Gut factor to do so, I hope at least those students and their parents are reading her article.

Posted by Betty
To visit Betty's blog site, please go to Hisses and Purrs.
Copyright Pending © 2010 by Betty Ng. All right reserved. Content may not be reproduced without prior written consent of the author.

His Heart and his Gut desire her, he flirts with her, but his Mind restrains him. He wishes her the best and watches her diminutive silhouette recede and diminish on the tarmac.

Soon her messages begin to flow in. Initially a love note, then an affectionate poem, soon followed by an amorous avowal…

“You already committed to another person,” he reminds her.

“Love is love is love. There are no boundaries for that. Please at least let me be authentic and express my love for you.”

“You put me in a difficult position,” he responds.

Yet he leaves the door open for her tide of affection to swell and surge. He welcomes her flattery, her adoration, and her unquestioning admiration. Her words lift him, comfort him and soothe his esteem.

His Heart and his Gut grow fonder of her by the day and the week.

“You have a beautiful soul,” he finally tells her.

Those words enliven but also sadden her. “We live in a world of mental conditioning,” she laments. “Rules, morals, and standards change over time and across cultures, only love endures.”

The cacophony inside him clatters and rattles.

“The world can tolerate men with multiple consorts, but not women with multiple partners,” she continues. “Regardless of how the world judges me and how you feel about me, my love for you does not change.”

“Your love touches me deeply,” he replies.

She traverses the distance again to show up at his door. “If the world will not approve our love, then let us love in private,” she pleads, throwing herself into his arms.

Love in private… The words ricochet in his Mind. If the world disapproves, perhaps we can love in private…

He contemplates this compromise.

Morals change over time, so do rules and standards. Perhaps one day the world will accept this love. Meanwhile, we can love in private…

The Heart and the Gut embrace the resolution.

She gazes at him, her eyes still sparkling with tears as she grins, as if she has heard his internal symphony.

He looks at that face that beams with hope. Then he removes her arms from his shoulders and steps back from her.

“I cannot,” he says. “Regardless of how morals and values evolve, regardless of how the world wants to mentally condition us, the INTENTION of this is to deceive, what we are doing can HURT others. Love does not have limits, but behavior needs boundaries.”

Her eyes well up again with tears. She doesn’t utter another word but smiles and leaves, grateful for the fleeting crossing of her trajectory with that of a man whose conscience prevails his internal symphony.

“The only time you shouldn’t follow your synchronized desire of the Mind, the Heart, and the Gut,” says Silvia, my healer, “is when your intention or action may hurt others.”

*This story is for illustration only and does not refer to me or specific persons.

Posted by Betty
To visit Betty's blog site, please go to Hisses and Purrs.
Copyright Pending © 2010 by Betty Ng. All right reserved. Content may not be reproduced without prior written consent of the author.

My Gut craves for chocolate and my Heart longs for it. Both of them desire cacao every day, for breakfast and for lunch. It is a torrid, passionate love, one of hopeless attachment.

But my Mind, ever analytical, censors this craving. Aside from the sugar and the fat, the Mind has learned that repeating the same food on consecutive days may allow the body to form emotional associations with that item. This can affect how I process the food, impacting my energy and health.

My chocolate craving therefore presents a most painful dilemma. The internal cacophony is deafening.

Finally, I sit down to negotiate with my feelings.

Can we have chocolate every other day instead? My Mind asks my Gut and my Heart.

We feel deprived if we don’t get it every day. (Sic sic.) We need it. Please…

How about eating A Lot Of chocolate every other day instead? My Mind ventures.

Hm… That is not ideal, but it is an improvement. Perhaps we can try. We are happy with two bars of chocolate every other day. The Gut and the Heart respond.

But my Mind begins to regret its own suggestion. Eating plenty of chocolate on any day is not a good idea. The caffeine will keep me up at night, the large amount of sugar and fat will spoil my appetite for other foods.

Forget about sleep and diet! Eating lots of chocolate every other day feels good! The Gut and the Heart yell.

The body will enjoy it for a moment but feel awful for a long time afterwards. My Mind retorts.

Frosty silence.

Please generate more ideas. The Gut and the Heart return and plead.Of the three of us you are the only one capable of consciously doing that. You not only can analyze, you can also CREATE. You are the fountain of CHOICES.

That is true. I have both analytical and creative faculties. I will keep devising new ideas until there is one that we all agree on. My Mind immediately resumes its inventive synapsis.

How about having moderate amount of chocolate in different variations everyday? Hot coco, dark chocolate squares, strawberry dipped in chocolate sauce, chocolate macaroon, pralines… My Mind suggests.

That sounds wonderful! My Gut and my Heart exclaim.

The variations can trick the body into thinking that it is consuming something different every day. This will prevent the body from developing emotional associations with chocolate. My Mind carefully analyses and concludes.

The Gut, the Heart, and the Mind are satisfied with this negotiation and the resolution, my internal music is in sync.

And my house is filled with chocolate concoctions.

Posted by Betty

To visit Betty's blog site, please go to Hisses and Purrs.
Copyright Pending © 2010 by Betty Ng. All right reserved. Content may not be reproduced without prior written consent of the author.

This is a blog about one person’s learning to connect and harmonize the Mind, the Heart, and the Gut. Writing is both the means and the end.

For only when all three of these elements are conversant with and attuned to one another will the internal life force travel smoothly. It is the foundation of health.

This is a simple yet fundamental insight I have acquired through my recent and ongoing personal healing, after battling successive ailments for years that perplexed me and doctors of all modalities. The pains that popped up all over my physical chamber have been at times gnawing and at other times excruciating. Finally, they screamed so loudly I surrendered and dropped everything to not only listen but talk to them.

This dialogue between my Mind and my Gut, and to a lesser extent, my Heart, is long and continuous, like catching up with a frustrated friend who has been waiting for twenty years, and who commands your full attention until the conversation and the story end. The dialogue needs to run its course, it has been ignored for too long, because my Mind has been focusing on the external, when it should have been inwardly (or downwardly) directed.

The Mind, the Heart, and the Gut each has its own function. The Gut is where INTUITIONS live. The Heart is where FEELINGS reside. And the Mind is where REASONS reign.

The trio is not always attuned to one another. What the Heart likes may not appeal to the rational Mind. What the rational Mind accepts may irritate the Gut. What the Gut craves may not sooth the Heart.

Sometimes, for example, the Heart has feelings for another person, but the Mind and the Gut have doubts. Or, the Mind knows income is important but the Heart and the Gut want to pursue a passion. In some cases, the Gut and the Mind say to walk away but the Heart longs to stay.

Any discord between the Mind, Heart, and Gut creates discomfort, unease, doubts, hesitations, concerns, anxiety, fear, regret, frustration… In other words, negative emotions. They slow the flow of our life force / energy / Qi the way pebbles, dirt, and sand impede the flow of a river. They are emotional garbage, and over time they can grow into more serious garbage such as anger, depression, hatred, disgust, shame, bitterness, spite.. All these garbages slow the course of life force, compromising the physical state, causing physical garbage to concurrently accumulate in the body. They fester an environment for diseases and illnesses. Not all illnesses are emotionally based, but a majority are avoidable.

It took me years to stumble upon this insight, but better late than never.

And even though I am still rehearsing and attuning my own chamber music within, it is better to share this knowledge now then later, because others may also benefit from it.

This insight and motivation resonate with my Mind, my Heart, and my Gut.

Posted by Betty

To visit Betty's blog site, please go to Hisses and Purrs.

Copyright Pending © 2010 by Betty Ng. All right reserved. Content may not be reproduced without prior written consent of the author.


Two days after I sensed and got affected by the negative emotions embedded in milk, I experienced the happy opposite from chocolate. I had been avoiding caffeine for a long time due to my digestive issues, but during my healing session Silvia said that my sluggish body needed caffeine to “move” it. That advice was ethereal Mozart to my ears. I rushed to Dean & DeLuca and picked a fancy brand of dark chocolate I had never tried, one with a packaging so beautiful I couldn’t resist. I also liked the fact that it was locally made in New York, with the production date delicately handwritten on the back. It was a nice, affordable luxury to commemorate yet another dietary liberation.

During those distant but not forgotten days of cacao indulgence I would sit down to taste and savor the addictive godsend. That late afternoon, however, I was quite hungry. As soon as I plopped down my bag I removed the beautiful wrapping and fed myself a generous piece of cacao. Mentally I was still racing through my chores and physically I was darting around, but when the chocolate melted in my mouth, a burst of sensations froze me in mid thinking and action. The familiar boldness of Madagascar beans was captivating, for sure, and the taste was certainly very refined, but there was something more to it. Standing still, my head suddenly cleared, I began to feel light, worry-free, and happy. It was such an unusual and distinct experience I dropped everything to Google this company.

What I found did not surprise me. The brand was the creation of two brothers who truly loved making chocolate. According to the website the company was one of the few bean-to-bar chocolate makers in the U.S., with the founders roasting their own cacao beans and handmaking their chocolate bars in small batches. On Facebook I saw pictures of mouth-watering staff lunches prepared in-house, as well as neighborhood musicians performing in the shop/factory.

I hopped on the L train to Williamsburg to visit the place.

A cheery young man with long hair sat behind the dark wood paneled counter. He greeted me and we started chit chatting like neighbors. When I glanced over at his colleague who was operating an intriguing machine reminiscent of the industrial/Victorian age, he invited me to go behind the roped area to take a closer look. Behind a glass wall, his jean-clad hipster colleague was doing one of the most repetitive and physical jobs in post-industrialized, cyber-age America – he peddled a machine to separate cacao beans from their husks. I didn’t know how many hours he did it per day and how long he has been doing that job, but he had a headset on, and while he peddled he was humming and moving to the beat. When I approached he waved and smiled at me liked I was his friend. Then he closed his eyes and became immersed in his own vast world of rhythm and melodies, basking in the scent of cacao, content with his solitude in that glassed room.

So that was what I was eating and feeling, I laughed. Food was far more than just food, and just as negative emotions could become embedded in food, happiness could also travel afar through the same medium, deep into our gut, and up towards our heads.

Posted by Betty

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Copyright Pending © 2010 by Betty Ng. All right reserved. Content may not be reproduced without prior written consent of the author.


For six weeks I have been receiving treatments from Silvia, a neuroscientist/Qigong healer whose unusual gift I can only describe as supernatural. Silvia was an academician and a researcher for pharmaceutical companies before devoting herself full-time to healing others. Meeting her once a week via Skype, I bid farewell to my nagging neck pain and many other chronic issues no other doctor of any modality had been able to cure. To my astonishment, during this process I also discovered (or perhaps developed) a surprising sensitivity towards food, or rather, towards the emotions embedded in food.

I had been suffering from food intolerances including lactose sensitivity. After Silvia cleared me of that issue, I immediately bought a carton of milk, whole cream, butter, and a slice of brie cheese. How I missed the smoothness, richness, and taste of these bovine gifts!

But while I felt good after eating cheese, butter, and having whole cream in my coffee, I noticed very different sensations from savoring a glass of milk. That afternoon I felt inexplicably stressed, sad, almost hopeless. Those feelings clouded my chest, weighed in my gut, and fogged my brain.

I thought it was indigestion again, but I did not have the usual physical symptoms of lactose intolerance. The sensations were distinctly different, because they were emotional rather than physical.

“You were sensing the energy in food,” said Silvia, who did not sound surprised. Perhaps she has known others with similar sensibility during her twenty years of healing. “Milk is the least processed among all dairy products. It is saturated with the raw emotions and energy from cows.”

I gasped. This was a new realm for me.

“Think of their lives in modern dairy facilities. Their living conditions are often unpleasant even in the many so-called organic farms. They exist solely to produce milk for humans.”

I recalled that powerful sense of distress and despondence and felt truly sorry for these big, beautiful creatures.

“Cheese is processed milk, it contains the energy from cows but also the energy of human input, which is relatively positive – we live far better lives than dairy cows do. That was why you felt more comfortable after eating cheese.” Silvia added.

I could not help but thought of the interconnectedness among all beings. When we create misery for animals, especially those that we consume, we end up harming ourselves – in greater ways than most of us are consciously aware of. When we hurt others we will eventually hurt ourselves. What goes around comes around…

Equanimity towards all living things.

Food. It contains far more than I had ever realized. It is so much more than just food.

Posted by Betty
To visit Betty's blog site, please go to Hisses and Purrs.
Copyright Pending © 2010 by Betty Ng. All right reserved. Content may not be reproduced without prior written consent of the author.
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